My mother-in-law has volunteered to watch the baby so my husband and I can go on a date. Second date night since Lulu arrived. First date night sober in YEARS!!! We are going to a seafood place called Prawnbrokers in Fort Meyers, FL. I am wearing a skirt and earrings and lip gloss, so this is a pretty big deal. I feel nervous. I’ve been married for seven years and I feel nervous going to dinner with Jim (oh… that’s my husband’s name).
Jim is a very relaxed guy and I am more your anxious/nervous type of gal. I want to enjoy dinner with him but my insides are already spinning. We are going to have an unheard of two hours alone. My first thoughts will be of family business: reviewing the finances, discussing the “issues” of this week, stressing that we both need to lose 30 pounds, wondering aloud about Lulu’s development. No wonder he doesn’t ask me out more often!!! I’m such a stress ball.
A cocktail made it easier slide right past my typical list of talking points. With a cocktail, I quickly get to a place where I crack jokes and make friends with nearby diners and perhaps start a dance party table-side. I feel pretty good three or four drinks down. About the time I hit my stride, my husband’s night is pretty much over. When I drink, he can’t relax. He has to babysit me. I keep downing drinks and racking up the tab. I become incoherent and the night is adjourned. This is followed by waking up in a panic at 3 am and perhaps apologizing for going a bit overboard. Jim is forgiving and kind. He has never once told me I have to quit drinking. He has told me that I’m not very attractive when I drink (ouch!).
Intention for tonight: stay present and take in the evening. No business needs doing – unless it’s monkey business.