I am leaving for vacation today. As I crammed the ridiculous amount of baby things we are bringing into our overflowing suitcases, I set an intention for this trip.
1. No expectations
2. Total acceptance
In order to relax and have serenity on this vacation, I know that I have to get out of my own way. We are meeting my husband’s family in Florida for a week on the Gulf Coast. I will be the only sober person amid lots of personalities. It is our first big trip with the baby and I am resisting the urge to panic about the flight and potential screaming meltdown and corresponding dirty looks from passengers. It is my first family immersion since this round of sobriety and I am resisting the urge to feel left out and different.
To be sane I have to lose all my expectations about what is going to happen this week. No expectations means no brewing resentments or hurt feelings. I have to accept the way things are: how long it takes to get the rental car, where we sleep at the house, the group activities and random comments from my in-laws. Most of all, I have to look around and be grateful. Grateful I can go on vacation. Grateful we have a family that wants to spend a week with us. Grateful that they make little baby earplugs that are supposed to help with cabin pressure. Grateful that my bangs are being very cooperative today. Grateful that my husband can carry lots of shit at one time.
I’ll keep you posted on my travels. I plan to hit up some AA meetings in Estero.